Don't Say Goodnight

“Come on don't say goodnight
With the stars in the sky
Let's wait 'til tomorrow paints the sun across the night
I see love in your eyes
And if you see it in mine
Let's wait 'til tomorrow
Don't say good, say good
Please don't say goodnight”

Don’t Say Goodnight – Hot Chelle Rae

It has been a while since I have obsessively latched onto a song and constantly have it on repeat. While every week or two I come across a new song it usually passes through without being played more than a couple times a day. But every now and again I become attached to song, and lately I have been fixated with Don’t Say Goodnight to the point it gets played about ten times a day.

Generally any attachment I have to song comes from a place of confirmation about a thought I’ve been having. Not long before Don’t Say Goodnight came out I had been thinking exactly about the topic of the song – that is, having a very fun night with someone, but it only being for one night. I write this not to encourage or negate one night stands, but rather reflect back on my own times when I spent just the one night with someone. I openly admit it has happened and I have no regrets about my night life, but I don’t think the fact that it has happened is why I became so attached to Don’t Say Goodnight.

I feel this song talks to me about not only being together for one night, but that one night is the only time you get to be together. You could lament on the fact you will not be together afterwards for whatever reason, or you could just go for it and not go your separate ways until the morning. One night my life went a lot like this song: it was the weekend and we were out blowing some cash when I found out someone was leaving the country the next week. We got drunk and we partied then we went home and forgot tomorrow was coming when we had to say not just goodnight, but goodbye.

I miss that guy a lot, but I think I would miss him so much more if we hadn’t connected that night. I would regret not taking the only chance I had with this person. And like most things I do I made sure I came out with a lesson I can use in my everyday life. Sometimes life will only hand you a small piece of something. You might want a lot more but that one tiny bit is all you are ever going to get. And most of the time it is better to take the small bit and run with for as long as you can, than reject something just because you wanted something whole thing.

Fix You

“And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you”

Fix You – Coldplay

I have always thought this song to be a bit of soppy ballad – the type of song which comes out near the end of the house party when everyone has had a bit too much to drink and are in the mood to belt out some meaningful song. In fact, most of Coldplay’s songs are on the receiving end of snide remarks about how slow and boring they can be and, to be fair, most songs which aren’t released as radio singles tend to be like this. A couple of months ago Fix You came on while I was listening to the radio and I guess I was in a music kind of mood, because my deciphering instincts kicked in and I had a bit of think about this song. I’ve had this song on my iPod as long as I can remember, but not until now had I had a chance to pull it apart in a blog.  

When I think about my life I can pinpoint areas where other people want to fix things about it. Usually it is something small, like the way I arrange my email folders at work or the way the use different cooking utensils at home, because I am lucky enough not to have something more serious in my life which needs fixing. I have witnessed, though, other people I know becoming focused on forcing change upon someone else with the intention of making them better. This comes from a place of love and a good heart, but usually ends a spectacular fail as it is difficult to know how to fix someone else. And it’s hard, because we want to help and hey, Coldplay said we should try.

But I don’t think jumping knee deep into someone’s personal problems is quite what should be taken from Fix You. It is the lines lights will guide you home / and ignite your bones / and I will try to fix you which initiated a different idea. To me it suggests that somehow we know we can never truly help someone fix himself or herself and we need to take a step back and allow that person to come to terms with their issues and insecurities. It suggests the best way to help is to let someone know they will have unconditional support and positive place to come home to, but you will not be the one to find the solution.

Perhaps my thoughts about this song stem from my personal knowledge that I could never fix someone. It’s not because I don’t want to or I don’t have time to or I don’t want someone to get better, it’s because I don’t think I have the tools or resources to do it. By all means come to me for support but know my way of trying to fix you will be to pass you on to someone better equipped. And I think in this way you are helping fixing someone more than you realize.  

Pompeii

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Pompeii – Bastille

I would usually never share the details of my diary with anyone, whether it be online or in person. I feel it is one of things which one keeps private in their lives and is a personal reflection rather than something to be discussed with others. However, I had an experience a couple of weeks ago with my diary and I want to share it. I keep a diary that prompts me every day with a different question or statement and I write a sentence about it. I am supposed to keep it for three years and each day every year I answer the same question to see if anything has changed. It can be as mundane as “what is in front of you?” or more meaningful such as “what is something you dislike about yourself?” On February 10^th I was prompted with “list three things that went right today”.

But for me, on February 10^th, it first appeared as if not one thing went right.

I lost my grandfather on February 10^th.

And never before I have thought more about the statement “how am I going to be an optimist about this”. Because how are you supposed to find something right on a day when something so sad happens to you and your family. I will not call this incident a tragedy nor an unexpected death, but it was sad, and I was sad because I had to come to terms with the fact I would never see my Poppa again.

Of course, the questions in my diary are random and it was merely a coincidence I was prompted with such a statement on a day where I had a family member pass away. But after a lot of thinking and reflecting I realized there was something I could put in for February 10^th, and I did this:

You see, the things that went right on February 10^th was that a great man was remembered. He was remembered for being a husband, father, grandfather, and was a month out from being a great grandfather. At his funeral he was remembered for his passion for the land and quick sense of humour, and I quietly reflected on times when he would ask me if I had a rich boyfriend yet. And I glanced around at the packed room where people had travelled far to remember and celebrate the wonderful he life he lead for 85 years.

In the utter sadness of someone dying it can be so hard to think of anything that went right because we are so consumed by grief. But sometimes we need to look passed the fact we have lost someone and remember their death was but a moment in a wonderful life. I am going to miss my grandfather terribly and it will take a while for me to come to complete peace with this loss. But I also know there is no point lamenting over was is inevitable; that one day we will all leave earth. It is up to those of us still alive to remember the legacy those passed left behind and think back fondly with love and appreciation all the things they did for us so we can continue on in life with the knowledge they are always a mere memory away.

She'll Rev You Up

“She’ll rev you up

Give me some, she said love
Don’t waste your time on me
I’ll have you and be on my way
You’re gonna waste it all away”

She’ll Rev You Up – Fire at Will

If you’re in were in New Zealand the weekend just gone you had an array of events to choose to go to, and I, in typical fashion, headed down to the annual Jim Beam Homegrown festival with my bestie Zena. It was my second time going to the event, and it delivered quality to the same level as last year. Oh yes, Wellington Waterfront came alive and there was dozens of musical acts pumping, revving and rocking across eight stages. I’m going to review it right now, a la awards style, based on the my thoughts and feelings of the acts I saw*.

Best Act: Villainy. No contest whatsoever. Every time I’ve seen them play, and I’ve seen them about five times, they deliver an amazing live show. They sound good, they banter good, and they make the crowd feel good, and Homegrown was no exception. Absolute class.

Emerging Talent: Fire at Will. These guys are relatively new on the scene but they can rock the stage, and they were the perfect way to kick off my Homegrown experience. While I will concede I will never marry any of the members, I refuse to accept I have seen the best of their musical talent. I’ve helped you all out here by dedicating this blog to them so click on the video below to hear one of their tracks, and next year at Homegrown we can rock to Fire at Will together.

Pleasant Surprise: PleasePlease. This is the award goes to that act you kind of know some of their songs and think they are worth a go, and when you get to their stage they absolutely blow you socks off and the crowd is going nuts for them. Last year it was Kids of 88, this year PleasePlease. 

Appropriate Farewell: Opshop. I didn’t know until I got to Homegrown that it would be their last gig, but they went out in style playing all their hits in chronological order, and the there was an air of appreciation about the crowd. Opshop may not be the best, but they are respected in the New Zealand music industry. And maybe one day we will see them again, but for now I was glad I was a part of their farewell show.

Cutest Charisma: Benny Tipene. What a delight; he sounds adorable, is nice to look at, and I wish he could be the boy I take home to meet my mum.

Musical Appreciation: A tie between Gin Wigmore and Fat Freddy’s Drop. Both of these acts make great music but there is only so much I can handle of either; Gin because her voice makes me shudder after a while and Fat Freddy’s Drop because they get a bit too mellow if I listen too long. Bonus points go to Gin Wigmore for being so excited to play in New Zealand again.

Last Dance: Dane Rumble. He was the last act my friend and I saw, and as we didn’t have the energy for Blacklistt and Six60 we gave Dane a go. He’s one of those guys who has a number of hits you hear on the radio and can easily dance to and kudos to him for getting Jupiter Project on stage to sing Not Alone. A great way to end Homegrown.

Best Overheard: Deceptikonz (on the way to Fat Freddy’s Drop). STOP DROP AND ROLL. Enough said.

Missed Act (disappointed): Cairo Knife Fight. I’ve heard nothing but good things about them and I wish I could go to their show.

Missed Act (not disappointed): The Feelers. I will see them some other time, because as long as there is music to make and shows to play, New Zealand’s version of Nickelback will be there.

Needed in 2015: Black River Drive for the rock stage, Hurricane Kids for the pop stage. Both would be awesome.

2013 confusion: Luger Boa. Because, seriously guys, WHERE THE FUCK WAS JOE?

And so, Homegrown 2014 had me and went on its way, leaving some great memories and a thirst for seeing more New Zealand music live. It is the celebration of the best of New Zealand music and the heavyweights of the industry bought their best performances. I had no qualms about the price of tickets, flights and accommodation given the talent I saw. A congratulations to the acts on their performances and their Musical Musings awards.

Best T-Shirts. My friend and I. Obviously.

*Acts I saw (in order) Fire at Will, Weird Together, PleasePlease, Benny Tipene, Villainy, Opshop, Gin Wigmore, Fat Freddy’s Drop, Dane Rumble. 

Better Man

“Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man”

Better Man – Pearl Jam

It’s been a pretty great summer in New Zealand this year, with sunny skies, beaches, barbeques and days spent either the ground or lying on the couch watching cricket. I am a big cricket fan, it is my favourite sport to watch, and I have enjoyed the season thus far very much. But one thing has irked me this season and indeed previous seasons, and that thing which has irked me more than silly slog shots and countless wide balls*, is how New Zealand’s captain Brendon McCullum comes to the crease with Better Man playing.

I talk a lot about how one can interpret songs and I still believe every song is open for one to view it how they want and need. But there is a big difference between slightly different interpretations and blatantly ignoring the message of the song. It takes only one listen to Better Man to know this song is about a woman trapped in an abusive relationship, and she only stays because she is so blinded by love and she believes this guy is the best she will ever get. Better Man isn’t about being the best, it’s about being the worst but not being able to find anyone better – which I am pretty sure is not quite what McCullum thinks of himself.

Music is used in public all the time, and we come to associate different songs with people and corporations, such as Open Happiness is the song of Coca-Cola and Eye of the Tiger will always remind you of Rocky III. Most of the time the songs represent the product reasonably well and there is no reason to complain. But I feel if you are going to put a song out into public to represent yourself you should probably be aware of public responsibility and probably shouldn’t be one with a message so negative as the one in Better Man.  Even if BMac really, really likes the song – and putting the theme aside Better Man is a good song – I personally would like to see him walk out to something a bit more positive.

I’m not going to suggest a song for McCullum as I don’t know his music tastes at all, but I will throw this out for the readers: if you were walking out to the batting crease which song would you opt for?

*I wrote this blog late last week and sat on it before posting it tonight, between which time something has made me far more angry in the cricket world, which is the developing issue of Jesse Ryder and Doug Bracewell out drinking. While now slightly outdated I did raise some thoughts on this last year when I mused about Scribe’s Dreaming.