I Can Change

"And if you're looking for change

I'll be what you're looking for

Even if it's not who I am

I can change
I can change for you

I can bend
I can break
I can shift
I can shake
Place the trail through the drive of rain
Girl I can change for you"

I Can Change - Brandon Flowers

Let me first acknowledge the fact this song has an amazing sound. It's cool, it's edgy, it's the guy from The Killers telling us how hip he is. I first heard Brandon Flowers singing I Can Change live on The Graham Norton Show and I thought it was well on its way to being the hit of the European summer. But oh how these lyrics about changing for this girl really grind my gears. 

Sometimes new relationships can cure our flaws. I've heard of laziness, drinking problems and smoking habits disappearing and being replaced with exercise and nourishing hobbies with the help of new partners. And if this is what Brandon Flowers meant by he can change, then sure, go for it. Let your new bae guide you to a healthier place. 

Fundamentally changing who you are for someone else, however, is what I have a problem with. I watched someone I know go through five boyfriends and she went from an army chick to an emo to a bogan motorbike riding lass to a tea obsessed hipster to, currently, a vegan. Each boyfriend she adopted a new personality and I think she's never found out who she really is. 

I couldn't imagine changing who I am for a man. I have my passions, my hobbies and my favourites, and these make up who I am. And if I was to start morphing into someone else, would that man still love me? After all, he's the one who fell for the crazy, chocolate loving, cricket obsessed, musically minded, wannabe traveller, dinosaur hunting girl. Imagine if he wanted me to give up this blog - madness!

So let this song - this fantastically sounding but lyrically frustrating song - be a tune to take with a grain of salt. Because you - you are quite great, and you shouldn't have to change that for anyone. 

Unpretty

"You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so

You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make

But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel so
Damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too"

Unpretty - TLC

Last year, during the four months when I more or less ran away from New Zealand, I spent some time with my aunt and uncle in Queensland. It was a strange meeting of sorts - we had been distant for many years as a result of busy schedules and a large body of water between us. We reconnected a few years ago and I thought I would pop in during my travels around Australia. Well, a 'pop in' quickly turned into slumming it on their air mattress for three weeks and doing nothing useful while I killed time before flying onto my next destination. While I was there I did manage to learn a few things - how to cook some stuff, how to look after chickens, how people in Queensland go about their business and how many triple chocolate biscuits I can eat before I start to feel sick. 

On a more serious note, my aunt - who is the biggest free spirit I have ever met - took me through joyful learning experiences, because that's what she is good at doing. We talked about how to bring joy into your life and how to get rid of pesky things like worry and stress. There was one thing she said and it has stuck with me since: to help her bring more joy she treats her mind like another person. At first I thought that was quite a strange concept, but then I thought some more and realised what she was getting at.

It's about respecting your mind, and therefore, yourself. When you think bad thoughts about yourself and about your life, you are allowing negativity in. As TLC say, you could look in the mirror and think that you are damn unpretty. But here's the kicker: you would never look at your friend and say "damn you're unpretty". We spend so much time pouring compliments onto other people that we forget about ourselves or worse, we don't think we deserve the same kindness.

So be a bit nicer to yourself. Treat yourself how you would treat other people. Don't call yourself unpretty. Kick your nasty habits that don't do you any good. It's like our good friends TLC say - you can change your outside all you want but you still need to look inside you and find your inner prettiness.

Haven't Met You Yet

"I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet"

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble 

A few days ago I was in the car with my friend, on our way to the Coromandel for the weekend, when we started talking about the perfect partners for our each of our friends. We had fun coming up with different qualities a partner must have and what they could bring to our group of friends. And then my friend turned to me and said "and what about you?" 

Oh, how this got me thinking. We live in a world where meeting someone and dating is literally at your finger tips - or, more accurately, a right swipe away. I've given Tinder a go but never went on any dates because, well, I got over the app pretty quickly. The last use my Tinder account got was when my friends got ahold of it and went on a swipe right spree, resulting in a lot of matches and zero conversations on my behalf. I'm sorry, boys of Tauranga, that was my gay friend who was deciding for me. 

My mother says I'm picky, my mates from school say I get bored easily and my bestie said I deserve someone special. They're all correct on some levels. I have a short list of qualities I want in a man but they're nothing extreme - I'm not going to demand he speaks eight languages and cooks me Italian food every night. Of course I want to be entertained in lots of different ways but I'm also sure I could get accustomed to the routine, everyday life of relationships. And hell yeah, I deserve someone special. 

Eventually, I turned back to my friend and said something like "I'm quite certain that one day I will meet the perfect man and that will be it. Until then I won't bother stressing out about it." 

And this is true. Sure, I've met a lot of guys over the years and I haven't yet found one worth keeping around, but this doesn't get me down. I don't sit at home waiting for Prince Charming to turn up on my doorstep.  I get out and about; I go out with friends, I travel to new cities and I go on living my single life. 

And I will keep doing this until I have my Michael Buble moment and meet the perfect man. Maybe he'll be a complete stranger. Maybe he'll be someone I've known for a long time but suddenly see in a new light. Maybe I'll find him in my hometown or maybe we will meet in a foreign land. Maybe he'll be Corey Anderson. Whoever he is, he'll come, and I'll give it all I've got. 

Fight Song

"This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me"

Fight Song - Rachel Platten 

If this song isn't your current tune then you have got to get on board the Fight Song train. This is the latest song to throw a big middle finger up to those people who don't believe in you. Last year we got our groove on thanks to Shake It Off. This year it's all about Fight Song. 

At first listen it seems cheesy and cliche, like something someone else has done before. And yeah, this song is all those things. Then you realise that your own life is cheesy, cliche, and someone has already done everything you are trying to do. But you don't really care, because finally, really truly finally, you realise you don't have to give a toss what other people think about you. Or at least, that's what happened to me. 

I have spent the last six years building towards this moment. Through overseas trips, going through university and making my way into the professional workplace, through gaining new friends and getting rid of poisonous relationships, through learning, growing, making mistakes and taking chances, I've come to the moment where I am thoroughly my own person. 

And, as I really, truly, definitely started to believe that, I heard Fight Song. 

It was the anchor I needed, the song that made me think and feel that what I was doing was right. Because, although I don't quite know what I'm fighting for just yet, I know that I can do that fighting. 

And the clincher?

That one line: I don't really care if nobody else believes. 

Because, at the end of the day, you really are the only person who can fight for yourself. 

And don't forget to get on iTunes and buy The X Factor New Zealand's version of Fight Song - profits go to Ronald McDonald House

Not Gonna Die

"The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flat line

No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna stand and fight forever
(Don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We're gonna fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight"


Not Gonna Die - Skillet 

There has been a thought bothering me for the past six or so weeks. I am a big fan of The X Factor NZ and this season I have thoroughly enjoyed watching and scrutinising the acts. And, just like me, most of my Twitter feed has been doing the same thing. Mostly I see positive comments about the contestants, and any negativity I can scroll past. But there was one on-going topic that bugged me, and that was the constant Christian bashing of Fare Thee Well. I loved the group, but I am more than willing to accept they are not everyone's cup of tea. However, I am not okay with comments that recommend Christian acts like them return to their little cults, because this world could learn a lot from Christian music. 

My own beliefs in Christianity are something I refuse to discuss with anyone. I have, for the past five years or so, been perfectly content with the way I think and believe in Christianity. I can't explain it but I take what I need from Christianity. 

And I love the music; I will listen to Christian music without hesitation. When I first found Skillet - in my opinion the best Christian rock band - I had no issues with their association with Christianity. And I have no doubt that Skillet and their songs kept my life on track. I first heard Skillet when I was a teenager, someone who was a lot more unsure of myself than I am now. They were a mix of the angry rock I needed to rage to and the positive words I needed to keep myself going. Their lyrics sing about not giving up, how relationships have saved their lives and how they will not let a world full of evil consume them. They take a stand - a stand to make the world a better place. 

It is this kind of positivity that flows through into all types of Christian associated artists. Switchfoot, Rapture Ruckus, Hillsong United are all known for telling us how we can make our lives the best they can be. And it isn't a case of shoving stories about Jesus down our throats, it's about using the beliefs and teaching of Christianity to help us be better people. 

I'm glad we had Fare Thee Well on this season of The X Factor New Zealand. Sure, they didn't win, but for a few weeks we had three of this country's most beautiful people on our television screens. They radiated positivity. And they reminded us that sometimes our music simply needs to be about seeing the good in the world. 

THESE GUYS: 

Summertime Girls

"Them summertime girls, they drive me crazy
I think I'm in love
They're looking so good, they're so amazing
Like da-da-daa-da-da
They got the sunkissed skin and golden curls
Smiling at the world
Them summertime girls, they drive me crazy
It's all about them summertime girls
Them summertime girls,
It's about them summertime girls"

Summertime Girls - Masketta Fall

It has been two and a half months since I arrived back from my Australian adventure. I have slotted back into life in New Zealand relatively well; I got a new job, have thoroughly enjoyed catching up with all my friends, and started plotting more trips to keep the boredom at bay. Sometimes I miss Australia, especially Perth, a place that captured my heart in mere minutes, and the friends I made along the way. But I stand by what I wrote about in Back Home - that New Zealand is where I need to live.

It may have taken me a few weeks to get to writing this blog (there's been some other secret writing projects going on!), but did you really expect me to go all over Australia and not find a sweet band to follow? I came across Masketta Fall after Twitter hype about them opening for The Vamps, my favourite British pop rock band. I missed seeing The Vamps but I did get onto Spotify to see what the Masketta Fall fuss was about. And they are pretty cool. They are my favourite kind of fun music; cute guys on instruments, catchy and friendly songs, and, I don't doubt, a pretty funky group to see live.

And I really would like to see these guys play a live gig. I asked them to come over via Twitter last night and this was the response:

So, in an attempt to get these guys to cross the ditch, I'm putting the word out there about how awesome Masketta Fall are. If you know any people who love pop rock boy bands then let them know about these guys, because I'm not keen on losing this challenge. And I know that you know someone - because most people pretend to hate this kind of music but secretly love it. Or, if you're like me and loud and proud about your boy band obsession - i.e. you have music from One Direction, Hot Chelle Rae and The Wanted - then get aboard the Masketta Fall fan base. 

Australia have given us some great pop music over the past few years - Sheppard, 5 Seconds of Summer, Justice Crew and my favourite lil rocker Reece Mastin, and I think we can add Masketta Fall to that mix. But I won't know for sure until I see them live, so show them some love and help me get them across the Tasman Sea. 

Man in the Mirror

"I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change"

Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson 

I have spent a lot of the past month in observation mode, specifically focussing on how people treat each other. I watched people in everyday life, I watched people playing sports, and, most importantly, I watched people interact with others on the internet. We are quite considerate in person. Sport will always have it's fair share of poor sportsmanship but that's just the game for you. But online, wow, do people let loose. 

The internet is a great place for expressing opinions; I do it every time I write a blog. But I like to think my blogs are a more structured opinion piece, where I write what I really think and feel, and tend to stay away from personal attacks against people. My Twitter feed, however, it is a different story. Clicking on any trending topic will bring a up a slew of rather disgusting attacks no matter what the story is, and most of the time it's against a particular person. And it is, quite frankly, horrible reading. 

Of course, being so rude has for a long time been the topic of many songs by my favourite pop artists. 

Taylor Swift said "Why you gotta be so mean" 

Magic! said "Why you gotta be so rude" 

And Lily Allen just went "Fuck you. Fuck you very very much" 

I don't particularly condone that last one, but it kind of gets the point across - online trolls aren't worth much time. 

But what does this have to with Man in the Mirror and Michael Jackson? Well, the King of Pop called it all those years ago. The change starts with you. It's time we took ownership of what we say and do. The best way to get rid of the nasties is to keep the nasty out of your own comments. I'll tell it to your face: those comments aren't funny, they are hurtful, and if you wouldn't say it in real life then you shouldn't say it online. I have Twitter-challenged myself to tweet only positive comments to people, and I tell you, it does make me feel great, and I like to think the person receives it smiles when they read it. 

I, of course, have much bigger plans to change the world that just telling people to clean up their internet act. I have certainly looked in the mirror and thought about all the ways I can make this world a better place. I'll start by spreading the good vibrations. And I'll finish this blog by saying two things: one, that you should listen to Man in the Mirror and get that inspiration to do some good, and two, that you are a bunch of beautiful people.