Honestly

“Is it wrong that I'm gonna be
Having the time of my life
'Cause deep down I know
I should cry I should scream
And get down on my knees
I should say that I need you here
But I'm gonna party tonight
'Cause honestly I just don't care
Honestly I just don't care”

Honestly – Hot Chelle Rae

Throughout my life I have had moments of pure selfishness where I did what I wanted, when I wanted, without really caring what other people thought. Then there have been times where I’ve given up something for the sake of others without a seconds thought because that is just what you do. I’m sure we have all, at some point, had these moments. But there are other moments in our lives when we want to do something in which we will be seen as selfish and unkind and not what one should do, and other people will judge us for doing it. These are the moments which hold me back in life: the torn decision of do you do what you want and just not care, or do you do what other people think you should be doing and put up with a sacrifice?

Alright, so these kinds of situations are always dependant on the circumstances. For example, last year I didn’t fly down south to a friend’s 21^st birthday party because I needed the next weekend off from my job for the 48 hour film challenge I had been working towards with the team for a few months. It was slightly selfish, but completely understandable in my opinion. Then there are the not so understandable situations involving breaking up with someone “it’s not you, it’s me; I need to do things for myself for the rest of the year and you aren’t part of that”. And then doing a Hot Chelle Rae and going out for a party instead of moping around.

I bring this topic up in the beginning of January as people are desperately trying to stick to their New Year’s Resolutions (three days into the year). A common resolution is to make yourself number one in your life, but how do you accomplish this without the sin of being selfish? Because being selfish is, in my opinion, a horrible thing to be. I know I mused a few weeks ago about how New Year’s Resolution aren’t any good for us, but if you have decided to set yourself something along the lines of this one, then I will give you my one piece of blog advice.

As cliché as this will sound, we have one chance at life. I say go for it – party if you want to party, do what you need to do for you and forget other peoples voices – and the conscious ones in your head - if what you do makes you happy. From my so far life experience, I’ve learned it is just as tiring arguing with yourself and with others. However, while a sweet party with your mates to forget the ex you don’t care about is a pretty good idea, I do say to try do your thing without being selfish and pushing people away. It’s one thing to be having the time of your life, but it’s another thing to be doing it alone.