The Other Side

“Tonight
Take me to the other side
Sparks fly like the Fourth of July
Just take me to the other side
I see that sexy look in your eyes
And I know we ain’t friends anymore
If we walk down this road
We’ll be lovers for sure
So tonight kiss me like it’s do or die
And take me to the other side”

The Other Side – Jason Derulo

When someone asks what your favourite kind of music is you usually lean towards one genre and can name a list of artists who you like from that one particular genre. Some people are really specific and only like classic rock or 1990’s hip hop and some people, like me, tend to be a lot more generic. Personally I lean towards a lot of softer rock, most of the top 40 pop hits (including boy bands – I love boy bands!) and the odd adult contemporary track. I usually hate on most hip-hop as the music makes me quite uncomfortable, but I really like Jason Derulo. Now, let’s agree Jason Derulo is more of a hip pop kind of guy, but still, liking his music is way outside of my usual music selection.

Last week my girlfriends and I decided to have a girls night and bought tickets to Jason Derulo’s only Auckland show. We had a few wines and dressed up pretty and went out to his show. I am a huge fan of going to concerts but it’s a bit of a risk as your favourite songs might not be good live– I went to see OneRepublic last year and they were terrible. Luckily for the concert goers though Jason Derulo was fantastic live. The best way to describe the show was slick; it transitioned smoothly from song to banter to dancing. The set was simple but very effective and the dancers utilized it by jumping around the three level set up. And the ladies sure did get a treat when Jason and the dancers did some topless pull ups! I’ve been to a lot of concerts with a lot of screaming women, and that moment produced some of the loudest screams.

It was a great night out and I left feeling very buzzed, high after seeing a fantastic show. I like to reflect back on shows and think what really satisfied me (or what I hated if the show went badly) and with Jason Derulo it was that he always stayed right behind the line of trying too hard to be cool. When you listen to music and see shows I think you can easily tell when someone is trying too hard (Justin Bieber is a prime example, though I have never had the misfortune of seeing him live). Jason Derulo, while probably pleased with himself for his fame and hoards of screaming women, actually came across very genuine, funny and looking like he loved what he was doing.

If you ever get a chance to see Jason Derulo live I would recommend you take it. Before the show I was still a bit indecisive about whether I really did like Jason Derulo or if I was just being blindsided by some very catchy music. However, I genuinely like him, his music and his performance, and I knew this was definitely true when I was stoked he sung my favourite song The Other Side twice. As a frequent concert goer I would say Jason Derulo was up there with the best of concerts and that is a big thing for me to say!

Let It Go

“Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway”

Let It Go – Idina Menzel

I finally only got around to seeing Frozen a couple of weekends ago, which is surprising given my love for cartoons, princesses and musicals. Frozen is meant to be the Disney movie for this generation, much like The Lion King was for my childhood. I loved the graphics in Frozen and I loved the themes of the story, particularly the ones about true love and facing fears – but I won’t go into it too much because I don’t want to spoil the plot for anyone who hasn’t seen it. I found the characters and storyline a bit ho hum though, and I much preferred Tangled than Frozen. However, if I was going to give this movie one thing to be a generation definer, it is the ballad of a song Let It Go.

In my previous post I wrote about taking what you can before it leaves you, and this write up is kind of a continuation of that. You see, once I had my one moment my life was going to give me and I had said goodbye, I had to do a bit a mental clean out. I had to let go because my time was done with this person and while that was tough to accept, I had to accept it for fear I would lament on it for months and never move on. It wasn’t always easy and every now and again I think of how things could have gone differently and sometimes even think “whyyyyyy did you leave me?!”. But for the most part I have let this aspect of my life go and moved on to new things.  

This is just one example of many things I have let go in my life – we could all name off many things we have successfully let go in our past, whether it be people, regrets, change, fear or disappointment. And while coming to terms with having to let something go can be quite tough, the feeling of letting go is so liberating. As Elsa says, once she has let go of holding back her power she can rise like the break of dawn, test limits and break boundaries, because you never quite know what you are capable of until you let go of what was holding you back.

It’s a bit of a cliché lesson this week but I think it’s one we need to constantly remind ourselves of. Sometimes when you feel stuck in a rut you have to decide what it is you need to let go in order to cleanse yourself of negativity. Frozen really portrays this message well and I really like that about the movie. I would urge you to watch it if you need a bit of a mental lift up. It’s not the only theme Frozen has (I also love the one about finding true love) but it’s the one that stuck with me the most and, as far as Disney movies go, it’s a pretty good one to relate to in real life.

Don't Say Goodnight

“Come on don't say goodnight
With the stars in the sky
Let's wait 'til tomorrow paints the sun across the night
I see love in your eyes
And if you see it in mine
Let's wait 'til tomorrow
Don't say good, say good
Please don't say goodnight”

Don’t Say Goodnight – Hot Chelle Rae

It has been a while since I have obsessively latched onto a song and constantly have it on repeat. While every week or two I come across a new song it usually passes through without being played more than a couple times a day. But every now and again I become attached to song, and lately I have been fixated with Don’t Say Goodnight to the point it gets played about ten times a day.

Generally any attachment I have to song comes from a place of confirmation about a thought I’ve been having. Not long before Don’t Say Goodnight came out I had been thinking exactly about the topic of the song – that is, having a very fun night with someone, but it only being for one night. I write this not to encourage or negate one night stands, but rather reflect back on my own times when I spent just the one night with someone. I openly admit it has happened and I have no regrets about my night life, but I don’t think the fact that it has happened is why I became so attached to Don’t Say Goodnight.

I feel this song talks to me about not only being together for one night, but that one night is the only time you get to be together. You could lament on the fact you will not be together afterwards for whatever reason, or you could just go for it and not go your separate ways until the morning. One night my life went a lot like this song: it was the weekend and we were out blowing some cash when I found out someone was leaving the country the next week. We got drunk and we partied then we went home and forgot tomorrow was coming when we had to say not just goodnight, but goodbye.

I miss that guy a lot, but I think I would miss him so much more if we hadn’t connected that night. I would regret not taking the only chance I had with this person. And like most things I do I made sure I came out with a lesson I can use in my everyday life. Sometimes life will only hand you a small piece of something. You might want a lot more but that one tiny bit is all you are ever going to get. And most of the time it is better to take the small bit and run with for as long as you can, than reject something just because you wanted something whole thing.

Fix You

“And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you”

Fix You – Coldplay

I have always thought this song to be a bit of soppy ballad – the type of song which comes out near the end of the house party when everyone has had a bit too much to drink and are in the mood to belt out some meaningful song. In fact, most of Coldplay’s songs are on the receiving end of snide remarks about how slow and boring they can be and, to be fair, most songs which aren’t released as radio singles tend to be like this. A couple of months ago Fix You came on while I was listening to the radio and I guess I was in a music kind of mood, because my deciphering instincts kicked in and I had a bit of think about this song. I’ve had this song on my iPod as long as I can remember, but not until now had I had a chance to pull it apart in a blog.  

When I think about my life I can pinpoint areas where other people want to fix things about it. Usually it is something small, like the way I arrange my email folders at work or the way the use different cooking utensils at home, because I am lucky enough not to have something more serious in my life which needs fixing. I have witnessed, though, other people I know becoming focused on forcing change upon someone else with the intention of making them better. This comes from a place of love and a good heart, but usually ends a spectacular fail as it is difficult to know how to fix someone else. And it’s hard, because we want to help and hey, Coldplay said we should try.

But I don’t think jumping knee deep into someone’s personal problems is quite what should be taken from Fix You. It is the lines lights will guide you home / and ignite your bones / and I will try to fix you which initiated a different idea. To me it suggests that somehow we know we can never truly help someone fix himself or herself and we need to take a step back and allow that person to come to terms with their issues and insecurities. It suggests the best way to help is to let someone know they will have unconditional support and positive place to come home to, but you will not be the one to find the solution.

Perhaps my thoughts about this song stem from my personal knowledge that I could never fix someone. It’s not because I don’t want to or I don’t have time to or I don’t want someone to get better, it’s because I don’t think I have the tools or resources to do it. By all means come to me for support but know my way of trying to fix you will be to pass you on to someone better equipped. And I think in this way you are helping fixing someone more than you realize.  

Pompeii

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Pompeii – Bastille

I would usually never share the details of my diary with anyone, whether it be online or in person. I feel it is one of things which one keeps private in their lives and is a personal reflection rather than something to be discussed with others. However, I had an experience a couple of weeks ago with my diary and I want to share it. I keep a diary that prompts me every day with a different question or statement and I write a sentence about it. I am supposed to keep it for three years and each day every year I answer the same question to see if anything has changed. It can be as mundane as “what is in front of you?” or more meaningful such as “what is something you dislike about yourself?” On February 10^th I was prompted with “list three things that went right today”.

But for me, on February 10^th, it first appeared as if not one thing went right.

I lost my grandfather on February 10^th.

And never before I have thought more about the statement “how am I going to be an optimist about this”. Because how are you supposed to find something right on a day when something so sad happens to you and your family. I will not call this incident a tragedy nor an unexpected death, but it was sad, and I was sad because I had to come to terms with the fact I would never see my Poppa again.

Of course, the questions in my diary are random and it was merely a coincidence I was prompted with such a statement on a day where I had a family member pass away. But after a lot of thinking and reflecting I realized there was something I could put in for February 10^th, and I did this:

You see, the things that went right on February 10^th was that a great man was remembered. He was remembered for being a husband, father, grandfather, and was a month out from being a great grandfather. At his funeral he was remembered for his passion for the land and quick sense of humour, and I quietly reflected on times when he would ask me if I had a rich boyfriend yet. And I glanced around at the packed room where people had travelled far to remember and celebrate the wonderful he life he lead for 85 years.

In the utter sadness of someone dying it can be so hard to think of anything that went right because we are so consumed by grief. But sometimes we need to look passed the fact we have lost someone and remember their death was but a moment in a wonderful life. I am going to miss my grandfather terribly and it will take a while for me to come to complete peace with this loss. But I also know there is no point lamenting over was is inevitable; that one day we will all leave earth. It is up to those of us still alive to remember the legacy those passed left behind and think back fondly with love and appreciation all the things they did for us so we can continue on in life with the knowledge they are always a mere memory away.