That's where I had my first heartbreak
I still remember how it all changed
My father said
Don't you worry don't you worry child
See heavens got a plan for you
Don't you worry don't you worry now"
Don't You Worry Child - Swedish House Mafia
It is the last day of 2014 and my Facebook feed is full of people reflecting back on the year and setting goals for 2015. This has been one of the biggest years of my life - I've been through so much self change - but I wonder what I can bring for myself next year? I've narrowed it down to three resolutions 1) to make my bed every day, 2) to stop eating snacks in bed and 3) to worry a whole lot less. The first two are most likely to be rather big fails as I hate making my bed and I love snacking. It is the third point here which interests me and will be the challenge for the next year.
There is plenty of reading avaliable on why worry is wasteful, unproductive and even reduces the doing part of your brain. But research and statistics are not why I want to quit worrying. Instead, I will tell you a story.
You're probably familiar with the story of my friend dying on Contiki - it has featured in many blogs this year as it affected me immensely. I want to bring it up one more time. Earlier the night she died there was a bit of a tiff within the group - a drunken joke got taken the wrong way and cracks started to appear in our Contiki family. I remember there was a bit of worry for either side of those involved. Two hours later it was never talked of again because something a whole lot worse happened.
It was a lesson in not worrying about the small things. It was useless to worry about a small tiff, just as it is useless to worry about being a little bit late or whether something will work out or how someone will receive you, because worrying is completely inaffective. I believe there is a plan for you set out by a higher force - for me it is not necessarily heaven but rather the universe's spirits helping to work out my life. When something looks like it's going wrong one of four scenarios is going to happen: it won't matter, it will matter, it's going to be a whole lot worse than it looks or a whole lot better. But worrying isnt going to help any of these situations. And if there's one thing I've learned this year it is that I can get through any curveball thrown at me. As an old English proverb says "worrying is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
2014, you were a hell of a year. I've met the best people, kept the most important friends close to me, reconnected with my extended family and made friends in foreign places. I've seen sights and experienced local culture and learned to not be afraid of change. But there's also been heartbreak this year when I lost three people important to me. To conclude 2014 I want to pay tribute to them:
My dearest Grandfather who lost his battle with cancer in February but whom in have such cherished memories with working on the family farm.
Former executive producer of weekend sport Matho - you never forget those who give you a chance to start your career.
And the beautiful Clarissa who I met on the most important adventure of my life, you are now the brightest angel.
Musical Musings will be back in 2015. I'll have more songs, more stories, more wisdom and more ways to make life one happy journey. Until then, worry a whole lot less and enjoy what you have now.